Happy Birthday
by RosaKei
Summary: Armin Arlert pays an early visit to Mikasa Ackerman on her birthday. And on the way, he reflects back on the past events—the times that he had spent with her. (Modern AU) (A combination of Day 1, 2, 3 and 6 of AruMika week 2019 because yes. and i have no time sigh.)


**Disclaimer: I do not own Shingeki no Kyojin / Attack on Titan nor its characters.**

* * *

February 10th. It was Mikasa's birthday. And Armin decided to pay her a little visit. Granted, perhaps it was a little _too_ early in the morning—six in the morning specifically—to stop by and wish her a happy birthday, but he couldn't help it.

He loved her. He missed her.

As Armin rose up from his bed, his eyes met the photo frame that he had placed on his night stand. In it, contained a picture of Mikasa, Eren and himself as children, beaming with joy and delight. It brought a little smile to his lips as he recalled the childhood he had shared with them, a childhood that he would never trade for anything.

_Ah, that's right._ Armin thought, _I'm going to meet up with Eren too._

It had been a while since he last saw Eren. They were adults now, busy with their lives—though, they'd always find some time for one another. _Always._

Armin couldn't wait to meet up with the both of them.

Tiredly, he dragged himself towards his closet as he searched for something more suitable to wear. Upon opening his closet, his eyes met another picture that he had stuck on the door of his closet. Except unlike the other, it only had him and Mikasa, as children who were wearing adorable little flower crowns with both their hairs braided. At that image, Armin began to let out a soft chuckle as that particular memory came flooding in.

* * *

"_All done!_" The nine year old raven exclaimed, before passing the blonde a mirror to let him see her work of art.

Not too long ago, Mikasa had arrived at Armin's house for a playdate. Unfortunately, Eren couldn't come with since he had caught a cold.

One thing happened after the other, and Mikasa had ended up getting permission to braid flowers into the blonde's hair. At first, Armin had been hesitant in letting her do anything with his hair—and it wasn't because he didn't trust her. Rather than that, he was just afraid and embarrassed… after all, his hair was a tangled mess. He didn't want to give her trouble, and he didn't want her to feel disgusted by his unkemptness. But of course, in the end, he resigned and said yes. How could he not?

He could never say no to her.

As Armin looked into the mirror to see his hair braided with several shades of blue flowers, he couldn't help but admire them, as well as the display of the raven's braiding skills. It was a mystery to him how she even had managed to overcome his tangled hair. And seeing how Armin stared at the mirror for a prolonged time, it was no mystery to Mikasa that he liked his braids.

"I'm happy you like them," She grinned, feeling a little proud of herself, "Though, it was a little hard since your hair was practically a mess! When was the last time you combed it?" She nagged with a raised brow.

Armin flinched in response before giving a nervous laugh, "Err… I…forgot…?" He tried, but she only shook her head in disappointment. "You have to take better care of it! My mother said birds will peck on your head and lay eggs in your hair if it becomes too messy…"

"Ehhh?! Really?!" Armin gasped, his eyes full of worry. He didn't want his hair to be a nesting home for birds! He didn't even want to imagine the stench of the bird's waste material reeking in his hair…

"I don't know," Mikasa shrugged without worry, "It's not like my hair's all tangled like some yellow spaghetti." She teased a little as she placed extra emphasis on the word _yellow_, as if she were referring to someone—and Armin wasn't _that _clueless to know who that someone was.

"Hey!" He pouted, his cheeks flustering a little while Mikasa chuckled. "Y-Yours looks like spaghetti too!" He said without thinking, being rather defensive.

"Does it really?" She said it in a way meant to challenge his opinion, "Do you see any tangles?"

Armin parted his lips, as if he wanted to continue defending his statement. But he didn't. He already knew it was a futile battle. Moreover, he couldn't help but admit it: _Mikasa Ackerman's hair looked perfect._ From afar, it didn't seem like she had any tangles and he found that hard to accept, especially when she had much longer hair than him. Though, it wasn't as if he'd know if she really had any messiness in her hair. He hadn't braided her hair before.

Then, a brilliant idea came to him.

"Let me braid your hair!" He suggested, "There's no logical way possible that your hair can be tangle-free… so let me braid your hair, I'm pretty sure I can find tangles!"

At first, Mikasa was hesitant. It wasn't because she wasn't confident that her hair was tangle-free, but rather…

"Armin…do you even know how to braid hair?" Mikasa questioned, and Armin flinched—and that already gave her an answer. "H-How hard can it be? I can… fold a paper boat, I'm sure braiding should be okay… right?"

Mikasa raised a suspicious brow, before she had let out a sigh. She was a bit reluctant to let him braid her hair, considering the last time she let Eren try… to say the least, her hair ended up looking like a fur-ball choked out by a cat.

Then again, she was a little curious to see how he would do. Armin had always been more careful than Eren after all.

"Alright." She finally agreed before sitting in front of him with her back facing him after she had passed him some rubber bands and flowers. "Braid away. It'll be easy, I don't have any tangles, really." She sighed softly. "If there's any more roses in the basket… use them, I like _red _roses." She added on, referring to the basket where they had placed all the flowers they had plucked from his garden earlier.

Armin nodded nervously. And the moment his hand brushed through her hair, he was left speechless.

_How… How can it be so soft?! _

From afar, her hair didn't seem to have any tangles… and it sure as hell didn't. Her raven black hair felt soft, smooth… it reminded him of silk. And now he was terrified of making a mess out of her perfectly spotless straight hair—it didn't even have any dandruff!

A small gust of wind blew by, spreading the scent of Mikasa's hair around. _It was... sweet_. It was strawberry scented, Armin could tell. It wasn't surprising to him, given the fact that strawberries were one of her favourite fruits.

Subconsciously, Armin leaned forward closer to her silky black hair to take a small whiff. "…Your hair smells nice… strawberries…" He mumbled out his thoughts unknowingly.

Having heard his words, Mikasa flinched before turning her head slightly to glimpse at the blonde. "…Aren't you supposed to be braiding my hair…? Why are you smelling it?" She asked, confused. And maybe a little flustered as well.

Instantly, the blonde's cheeks flushed embarrassedly as he moved back and let go of Mikasa's hair. His hands were now waving crosses in the air. "I-I wasn't being weird I swear!" He squeaked out innocently before covering his tomato coloured face. "I-I'm sorry! I-It's just… your hair's so straight…soft… and silky…it's not t-tangled up and all and it's… it's beautiful! I…uh… and it smelled nice… I couldn't help but … I wasn't trying to be weird! I swear! I-I um… I…"

Armin's words soon became more and more inarticulate the more he tried to explain himself. He desperately hoped that he hadn't weirded her out… that wasn't his intent.

Meanwhile, Mikasa was anything but weirded out. The blonde, however, seemed too distracted with muttering out what sounded like apologies repeatedly to have noticed a small little smile forming on her lips. Something about watching the young blonde acting all shy and flustered made the little girl feel amused.

"Armin…" She called out in a reassuring way, "Look at me." She said, but it took the blonde a while to muster the courage to look back up and into her eyes. Though when he did, she immediately placed something on his head. At first, he thought she placed a nest on his head… and if she did, he wouldn't mind as he probably deserved having a thousand birds pecking on his head. Fortunately, that wasn't the case.

Instead, Mikasa had placed a flower-crown made with several vibrant flowers on top of his head. She had made it while Armin busied himself with _'braiding' _her hair. "Flowers really suit you," She giggled, "Next time, we'll go to a strawberry farm and pluck some, okay?" She teased.

And for a faltering moment, Armin felt his heart flutter upon hearing her cute little giggle.

* * *

Till today, Armin wondered if Mikasa was being nice when she had more or less reassured him that she wasn't creeped out. Well, he hoped she wasn't. He had no idea what nine year old Armin was thinking when he decided to smell her hair anyway. _It was so stupid of me_, he thought with a sigh.

The blonde slowly made his way down after changing out of his nightwear into something more presentable and suitable for the occasion of the raven's birthday. Once he was done, he left his house and entered his car before driving off to the destination.

As he drove, he found himself passing by his old high-school that he, Eren and Mikasa had attended. He smiled.

There were many memories made there too, both good and bad ones. Lucky for him, he had more good than bad ones.

_Time flies fast_, he thought. He wished he realised that sooner.

It was naïve of him to think that they had all the time in the world, especially when it was pretty much well emphasised in school how the adult and working life really sucked.

It really did. It sucked.

He had been with Mikasa all his life, and he remembered how she looked more and more beautiful as the days and years went by. It wasn't just physical appearance that he was referring to, but her heart as well. At first glance, she may seem like a stoic and cold individual… but really, she wasn't.

Meanwhile, Armin still struggled with his spaghetti and bird nest hair in his teenage years. Speaking of which, Mikasa had also changed shampoo somewhere along the way. He wondered if it was because of what his younger self did. Though, when asked, she only said that she decided to just opt for cheaper brands since she wanted to help her parents save money. He thought she had said that to make him feel better.

Armin remembered how Mikasa pushed herself a lot in high school as well—that was the worst memory he actually had, it was worse than the ones he had with the bullies.

Nothing could be worse than seeing someone you care about hurt.

* * *

"_Mikasa!_" He exclaimed as he entered the school's infirmary, to see Mikasa there, looking exhausted and weak.

He nearly felt his heart stop for a moment.

Mikasa had been absent before from school for one or two days every now and then. However, when she had been absent from school for almost a whole month, it frightened Armin. According to the teacher, she had an extremely high fever along with food poisoning… something along those lines supposedly. So it had caught him as a shock when he saw Mikasa participating in gym class when she had returned to school, just right after she had recovered.

Despite his persuasion for her to rest, she persisted and persisted… until her body quickly gave out. The teacher in charge brought her to the infirmary, sternly instructing the rest to continue with their laps around the field.

And when she didn't return back to class after an hour, Armin ditched his classes and went to see her in the infirmary.

"What were you thinking?!" He shouted, frustrated.

Armin was mad. He was mad at her at how little she cared about her own health. What was she thinking? How could she push herself like that? Why?

"You shouldn't push yourself like that!" He chided, and Mikasa looked away biting her lip.

Armin was worried. He was worried at her too, and his worry only increased when he came closer to the raven. Her skin was paling, its colour was faded. She looked thinner. He wished he was there next to her when she suffered from food poisoning, but her parents didn't allow visitors in fear he'd catch her sickness too.

"What if… what if you actually got hurt?! You—" He stopped when he saw body began to tremble as tears began to form in her eyes. His own oceanic orbs began to soften, so did his tone.

Taking a deep breath, he sat next to her, with his hands clasped over hers gently. "Sorry for yelling at you…" He apologised quickly, his eyes fixating on hers with a more concerned look rather than an angry one. "…Please don't push yourself like that. If you keep pushing yourself you might…" He trailed off, unsure of what to say next. Subconsciously, he reached out to hold her hand—his way of comforting her. Then, his eyes widened in shocked to realise how cold her hand was. _Very cold._

"Mikasa… why—"

"I…I'm sorry." She sniffed, quickly cutting him off. "I just… wanted to run… have some fun while… Armin I—"

"You can have all the fun when you get better… and gain some weight." He had cut her off with a small frown. "…You know, I missed you during these three weeks… you didn't answer my or Eren's calls and texts… what happened?"

Mikasa used her free hand to wipe her tears a little before she gave a nod. "I was just vomiting too much. I would feel dizzy when I looked at my phone so I didn't have the chance to see what you guys texted…and I needed the rest." She murmured before continuing, "Maybe I should've rested a little more… but I wanted to come back and—"

"Rest, Mikasa." He whispered softly as his grip tightened. "Rest more… okay? Please."

She nodded. Armin sighed.

Why was she being so reckless?

"I'll… go tell Eren. He doesn't know you're here since we have different classes today…" He murmured, though before he could stand, she gripped onto his hand more.

"Can you… stay with me... here, a little longer?" She wanted him to stay. She… wanted to feel his warmth.

Armin could feel both her hands trembling just as how her tone and voice was. He hoped she'd gain back her strength soon… he didn't like seeing her weak like this—or more specifically, he didn't like to see her look so sickly.

"Of course." He smiled a little. "Anything for you."

…

Mikasa didn't go to school for a while after that.

* * *

Armin remembered how worried his sixteen year old self was during then. Mikasa had always been the type to push herself and place others before herself, even if it meant sacrificing her health. In that matter, she was strong. That factor of her was admirable but at the same time worrisome. He wished she'd focus more on herself.

Fortunately, Mikasa got a little better by the time her seventeenth birthday came. Armin smiled as he remembered celebrating her birthday.

_How old was Mikasa supposed to be now? Ah, yes, twenty five._

_Time really does fly_, he thought.

Upon seeing the red light, Armin stopped his car briefly as he waited for it to turn green. In this brief moment, he glanced towards the window to his right. He saw a couple holding hands, wearing big smiles as they walked along the pavement.

Inevitably, his mind drifted off to Mikasa.

She was his first love.

Armin was unsure when or how it all started. Even after all the times she had made his face flush or fill his stomach with butterflies, he hadn't exactly expected those feelings to be something related to a romantic love. At first, he thought he was misunderstanding his own emotions. _'Mikasa was just a friend… right?'_—was what he _used to_ think.

Well, he had finally came to terms that he did have a crush on Mikasa when he saw Jean flirting with her. Because when he did, he began to fill something unsettling sprouting within him.

He later learnt it was jealousy.

It was only when he saw the couple sharing an umbrella did he notice the number of ominous dark clouds that had gathered.

It was going to rain.

Then Armin remembered—that it was also raining on the day where he was about to confess his love to her until...

* * *

_Today was the day,_ Armin thought.

He was finally going to confess his love to Mikasa. He had all his lines rehearsed… and of course, he had also prepared some lines to say should she reject him. Though, he hoped that that wouldn't be the case.

"Don't worry," Eren had said to him earlier, "She wouldn't reject you." He had reassured, sounding so certain.

Not too long ago, Eren had found out about the blonde's crush on Mikasa. Since then, he had been rooting for them—something that had caught Armin off guard. He thought that Eren had a crush on her as well, but that wasn't the case. And it made him feel more relaxed and reassured, after all… he didn't wish to be caught in a love triangle.

Though, he wasn't sure if Mikasa liked Eren in that way. He had been too afraid to ask.

"Why do you like her anyway?" Eren had asked before. "You know… in that way." The brunette had never fallen in love before, and even if he did, Armin was sure he wouldn't be aware.

Armin didn't even know where to start. "Everything." was all he could say to his question, "I love everything about her."

Those words he had said weren't a lie, they were the honest truth. He loved her personality, kindness, smile, eyes… everything. Even her flaws. "I can't remember when I started feeling this way for her… though I'm sure it was long ago," He chuckled softly, "But once I started to fall, I couldn't stop."

School had just ended, and Armin waited for her nervously at the back of the school's building—the place where he had asked Mikasa to meet him after school. He wondered if she knew, after all, the three of them would normally meet at the school's entrance before heading home. Not to mention, she had this sort of suspicious look when he told her to meet him there.

_I wonder what's taking her so long…_ he thought. He was getting a little impatient—he wanted to see her _now_. It had been a while since he saw her anyway, given the fact she hadn't been to school for a while due to what she said as 'family issues'.

He suddenly felt tiny droplets of water beginning to pelt down onto his clothes. At first, he thought it was his nervous sweating until he looked up at the sky to notice ominous clouds that had gathered. It was about to rain. _Just great. A bad omen_, he thought with a sigh. He wondered if this gloomy weather was foreshadowing the outcome of his confession. Luck didn't seem to be by his side at all.

It really wasn't.

Then suddenly, he heard footsteps approaching him in a fast pace. His body immediately tensed up, and he felt his nervousness intensify. He could've sworn he was starting to forget his rehearsed lines that he had been practicing for over a week. Suddenly, he felt he had an abundance of patience before meeting her. And he was starting to regret choosing a place outdoors to confess, he didn't want to make Mikasa drenched for the sake of his confession.

Then again if it rained, she wouldn't be able to tell if he was crying if he were to deal with a harsh rejection. _Eh._

"Armin!" The voice exclaimed.

"Mika—" _Wait._ That… wasn't Mikasa's voice.

The blonde turned, and saw a panting brunette with worried-filled eyes. And before he could ask what had happened, he said, "It's… Mikasa…" He panted. "She…"

…_and the rain began to pour._

* * *

Armin was now waiting in the hospital's waiting room.

The raven had suddenly collapsed when she was making her way to meet him. Nobody knew why or what had happened. She just collapsed.

Fortunately, she had awoken up not too long ago—but had requested a private conversation with Eren. _But why?_ Armin wondered.

What did she have to say to him personally that she couldn't say to him?

His thoughts were interrupted by the sound of a door opening. He immediately stood up, and turned to see the brunette leaving the raven's room. "E-Eren! How's Mika—" He had cut off his words as he felt a tight grip on his shoulder by Eren. He felt his hand shaking.

What… did she say to him…?

"…she wants to see you." was the only thing Eren managed to say before he began to walk off. And for a fleeting moment, he could've sworn he saw his emerald orbs teary-eyed.

…

Hesitatingly, Armin entered her room to see her looking out the window.

_It was still raining._

"M-Mikasa?" Armin called out, but Mikasa didn't turn her head towards him yet. "Sit down…" She murmured, with her eyes still fixated on the raindrops that slid down the window one by one.

As requested, Armin grabbed a chair over and took a seat next to her. Silence began to engulf the room, which only worsened Armin's anxiety as he began to fidget with his hands.

"H-How long?" He managed to ask, though stuttering, "How long will you… be discharged?"

Mikasa flinched, and Armin bit his lip. Did he… say something wrong?

"…A… few months to years. It's uncertain." She had responded, and the blonde's eyes widened. "W-What? Why so long? I—"

The raven finally turned to face him, and it was the tears streaming down her cheeks that zipped his lips.

"No," She forced a smile, "That's the time I have left."

_What?_

"Armin, I…" She took a deep breath, "I'm going to die soon."

A flash of lightning tore across the sky, followed by the loud clapping of thunder before the rain intensified into something heavier.

Armin began to cry.

. . .

* * *

_Beep!_

The sound of the car horning behind him finally snapped Armin back to reality as he finally noticed the red light turned green. He continued to drive.

Armin wondered how he had never noticed the signs back then, of Mikasa's weakening health. Thinking back, the signs were so painfully obvious.

Her absences at school that she said it was due to 'family issues' and other things like that. He should've known those words were a lie, her family was so close and tight the last time he saw them… he found himself stupid for not realizing her lies sooner.

He remembered how she later revealed about her surgeries. _Was that why you opted for that cheaper shampoo, Mikasa? Because you felt bad for your parents having to pay for your medical fees? Or was it because you had been staying in hospitals that didn't have your favourite strawberry scented shampoo for so long? You could've told me. I'd have bought and brought it over for you._

_Anything for you, Mikasa._

He remembered how she managed to change the conversation and turn it around from herself in such a discreet way. How could he not have noticed that?

"_I just… wanted to run… have some fun while… Armin I—" _She had said that back then in the infirmary before he had cut her off. _You wanted to run. You wanted to have fun, while… while you still had energy… while you still had time. Was that what you wanted to say, Mikasa?_

_Mikasa… didn't you notice? That you had been running away… from Eren and me… with all your lies… with you hiding away…_

_I can't blame you though. How can I?_ Armin thought, biting his lip.

He couldn't believe that he believed her lies. Back then he didn't think that she would have any reason to be dishonest to him.

_How naïve_.

He wished he had found out sooner and he wished that she hadn't lied. Then maybe he could've started treasuring her more than he already did.

Time flies fast, and before you know it, your loved ones disappear before your eyes.

Finally, he reached where Mikasa now rested.

Grabbing her birthday gift, he exited his car and made his way towards her grave. "I remember you said that you liked roses." He smiled before setting her birthday gift—which was bouquet of _red_ roses—down on her grave. "I hope you like it…"

_Silence._

"I remember how we used to braid each other's hair… wasn't that fun?" He smiled. A bittersweet smile.

_No response._

"Oh… and you liked strawberries too? Ah… you know I saw a nice strawberry cake the other day, and I thought of buying it for you… but I'm not sure if your taste buds changed. I wished I asked you before."

_No response._

"Speaking of strawberries, remember you said we'd go to a strawberry farm too when we were younger? Ah… what a foolish dream, there aren't any strawberry farms around our area… we should've grown them!"

_No response._

"Oh, and you don't have to worry! My hair is no longer like a bird's nest… oh and I travelled to the Caribbean last year for a journalist job! It was so beautiful! You know, the reefs… you would have liked it."

_No response._

"…Are you doing fine, Mikasa?"

_No response._ Though, a cold gust of wind blew by. It reminded him of how much he missed her warmth.

"…I miss you." He finally said, and he could no longer hold back his tears. "I miss you so much." He began to sob. "I'm sorry… I shouldn't be crying on your birthday… I…You…"

You left too soon.

I miss your warmth.

I miss you.

I want to see you.

I want to hug you.

I want to hear your voice again.

I want to see your smile.

I want to hear your laughter.

I still love you.

That's what Armin wanted to say, but all that came out instead were loud wails that yearned ever so desperately for her return.

…_No response._

* * *

_**Author's Note:**_

**SO, i found out about AruMika week at the very last moment. ****With exams coming, i didn't have much time to write 7 stories for the 7 different prompts.**

**So this is a combination of Day 1, 2, 3 and 6 (Stay with me, Childhood, Hair and Rainy Day) **

**And because this was rushed, i think it's bad in my opinion. i'M SO SORRY**

**Once again, i apologise. (PS: Wish me luck on eremika week bc i barely started and oof rUSHING RIP I RLY WANNA PARTICIPATE EJKDJD)**

**SO yes, Mikasa had passed away. Let's just say i stumbled upon your lie on april fanart and went 'yEs, imma go with this angst for this' **

**i plan to make a part 2 when i have time... (aka november... eXAMS SIGH, the only fanfic i'll probably be publishing next is eremika week and ya) So stay tune for part 2? Maybe?Yes?**

**I hope this was okay. _Please Leave a review, would love to hear your thoughts ! :)_**


End file.
